Night since 2010

exaclty[Exactly]. my obsessive compulsions are always trying to be gret[grey], always trying to be safe.

my signs that i am relapsing are ‘if i do this thing, it will twist time this way so then this will happen.’

and it should be unrelated but

i haven’t been wrong

until the next day

pick it
pick it
pick it
pick it
again, it’s filled up with more
ick[pick] it
pick it pick it
this one’s filled up w more
oick[pick] it
oick[pick] it
pick it

sense all of time and space at the same time
text him again
its not enough
its not enough
time and space say
time and space and time says
ok, one more time

bravery taste like
metal sppoks[spoons]
followed by
tears and
blue, water-logged skin

focus focu
hsnds[hands] keep going to the same spot
pcik[pick] it
[no,] focus
pick it
this one filled up with more
ocik[pick] it
[no,] focus
pick it
i need a shock collar
there is a reson[reason] i said no to cell phones

Assuming Normalcy

It is interesting that combating neurological disorders in-the-bare (without or almost without the aid of medication) can teach a person neat tricks.

For example, and from personal experience, people have remarked about my ability to remain calm and collected in “extremely chaotic” circumstances. That is because having a life-long “anxiety disorder” has given me the ability to “instantly turn on calm”. Sometimes I even surprise myself over how I can paradoxically retain my rationale during fire, violence that is directed against me (I do not, admittedly, handle having to break up other people’s fight well) and other emergencies, but sitting sometimes with a group of people or having to follow agendas still often stresses me out to the point of total panic.Src:

People have also been impressed by my “insane attention to detail”, and that I can sit down and draw or write for hours on end. That is because handling symptoms akin to those of ADD/ADHD sufferers since kindergarten have given me the adverse ability to ‘hyper focus’. This isn’t a rare thing, especially in people with ADHD. It’s a tool acquired by many years of desperate (read, cry-yourself-to-sleep at night from ages 8 – 17) manoeuvres to stay caught up with “everybody else”. It also might have lent to my obsessive personality, and is probably helped by the fact that I am a neurotic perfectionist, but oh well.

When people find out that I struggle with depression, they are surprised because I seem like such an “energetic person”. I think this is because I’ve been experiencing periods of what is apparently considered “severe depression” for as long as I can remember, so I understand the impermanence of despair. From what I can tell, few people actually understand what absolute hopelessness feels like. I think that once you have been there and somehow come back from it, for whatever reason, you can pretty much handle anything. Not to say that you necessarily come back ‘stronger’; I think that actual absolute hopelessness is something that stays with you, somewhere, forever; it kind of kicks around and comes up to face you now and again, reminding you that faith is foolish and happiness is pretend and there really is no point to anything. One time I wrote an article about how the whole of humanity might react to having to face this inevitable ‘truth’, if truth really is that we have no ground for faith or morality or reason and everything is just a series of mathematical coincidences; there by being no magic, and that violence is just a thing La Clairvoyance, René Magritte (1936)and love is just a thing and nothing is scared, not even a little bit. You can read that statement and think you understand it, but you really don’t. Even having been there, I don’t understand it anymore, because I have chosen not to grasp these things with such entirety as to render me stupid, again. But I reckoned when I wrote about it that if there was a way to make everyone “see” this side of things and if it all turned out to be true, it would be the only sure way of absolutely annihilating everyone or at least stripping humanity of our up-until-the-present assumed condition, forever. Think about that. Once you’ve reached the point where you at least kind of “get it”, if you can still push on and do the mediocre things a person needs to do just to thrive in this society – if you can still find things that sometimes allicit an emotional reaction in you, even a slight one – or even if you’ve temporarily lost the ability to be stimulated by any kind of joy or any kind of sadness – if you find it in you just to “go”, without reason – then in moments where you sort of jump back into feeling and things energize you and amaze you and make you feel glad and angry and all sorts of things that are supposedly normal, at least you will find you are not eons behind – you will have stayed caught up, and stayed alive, just by being able to assume the robot mode while you were busy not feeling anything. Yeah, I think that’s what a person who suffers from chronic depression kind of has to do –  “assume robot mode”. ‘Cause all this mundane shit might not matter to you today or tomorrow or even next Sunday but there’s going to be at least a couple days a month where you feel human and where it bothers you that you body and your environment are falling apart. Gee, what worse way to thaw out now and again from the numbness of depression only to lapse into a world full of anxiety and regret. So anyway, you’ve got to do or make yourself miserable or die. It’s really as simple as that.

There ought to be some exceptions to those rules though, right? Take living on the street; I often felt when I was younger that living on the street would be the only way to free my mind from the laborious process of so-called surviving; that the demands of life were mostly imaginary, that we were convinced of the complexities of survival simply by virtue of the fact that we are made to believe our way of living is the only way of living. Well, everyone probably thinks that for some period of their lives anyway. I figured, if I go live on the street there will be some things that are more of a struggle, but all in all I will not be bound by anyone’s expectations and I will have the freedom to think and the freedom to dream and the freedom to observe, wherever and whenever and for whatever reason I choose. And I was right, in a way. And I was wrong, in another way. I think I realize now that the street life might have toughened my skin and afforded my imagination some happiness, but also it would have fed my depression and my feelings of separateness from the rest of the world. And when at last I decided I was ready for something new, I’d have had a couple options, like to hitch around and be homeless in new places, which might have been fun for awhile; but if I became ambitious, which knowing me I probably would have, I’d have had to start building on foundations that didn’t exist and I’d be exactly where I am today; trying to earn money and get an education.

Or I could have peddled for pennies for ink and for paper and been an artist and I writer like I felt comfortable being. And maybe I would have made it big, and everyone would have told my story. But I feel sad and like I have a dry imagination to have to come to admit how unlikely that was; because given the opportunity for freedom and creative pursuits, I now know that I tend to shift gears constantly, I cannot stay focused on one project at a time for the life of me, and the pressure of trying to make myself do so threw me into so many episodes of depressed mania that my imagination and hallucinations nearly swallowed me deep enough to cause me to lose the job and the homestead I actually did have, anyway. So the chances I’d become some kind of artistic prodigy given the freedom of homelessness is, sadly, realistically, slim to none.

And having gone through the whole process of desire and comparative living, it’s understandable that I get really angry at the fortunate, the rich, and the even middle-class bastards who are so annoyed by the homeless. How they wonder why those ‘street people’ can’t just clean up and get a job. And I want to say, you dumb-ass, self-righteous, ignorant imperialist shithead. You have absolutely no idea what it is like. You don’t understand the cold and you don’t understand the crawl through the dredge and the dark, you don’t understand how much the damp and the dreary begin to feel like home; you don’t know what it is like to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and find out it is a train.

Green Seventeen

You were a lion

Perched up there, contemplative

We were young and I didn’t know

What I was,
feeling naked, and reptilian
drawing into my shell

Holding myself in my mind

Trembling with terror.

All the greatnesses I couldn’t grasp
Were blossoming violently before my eyes.
I wish I could have talked to you
I wish I hadn’t been so afraid of making

A ripple in the pond.

Still and calm and comfortable, you laced your fingers,
you cupped your knees,

You were looking at the ground.

I looked at you,

Stricken by the majesty of your animal eminence
And just, looked at you.


We were alone.
I was exploding.

Managing your Mood – An Encouraging Narrative for Pro-Active People who are Exhausted from an Apparent Lack of Control Over Their Emotions, and How Those Emotions Are Affecting Their Ability to Thrive


Maybe you get nervous easily. Maybe you beat yourself up because pretty much everything about social interaction scares you, and you blame yourself for seemingly not being able to overcome these fears. Maybe you appear to have no control over your compulsions.
When you were a child you were called a perfectionist, flighty, creative, or told that you “probably have ADD”. Maybe you are sad, tired of looking for that foothold that will let you launch yourself into the appropriate direction of your life – are scared that, even if you try to, mania will continue to rear it’s ugly head and swallow any prayer of your success. Maybe you have been diagnosed with a problem. Maybe you haven’t, because you keep telling yourself that you have the tools to define this thing yourself, and to beat it. Maybe you are like me – labelled with an “unidentified learning disability” that has led pill-pushing psychiatrists to give you the No-Shit-Sherlock assessment of having generalized anxiety, clinical depression, and possibly OCD. 
It is a little bit of pride mixed with the maddeningly frustrating acknowledgements over the failures of our modern medical system that have led me to conduct a lot of my own “research” on my condition. Even though I know some time with a proper psychologist is in the wisest version of my future, I have gained some valuable insight by reading about coping strategies for various disorders with which I have likened to my experiences, and I am not ashamed of this.
Today’s read came from I was in a sinister rut for a few consecutive days and so instead of just skimming the article of choice, I ended up rewriting the useful information I felt I could really closely associate to. For this reason, most of the ‘verses’, I guess, begin with “I know” or “I will” – I was tricking my mind a bit, reinforcing optimism where there presently was none.
The reason I am sharing this is because I understand I am far from alone in any or all of the described experiences that I used to introduce this post. The article I have referenced today deals specifically with bi-polar disorder, but I feel somehow it is good for covering all bases in terms of lack of emotional control. If you struggle with anything even remotely similar to what I have described, I hope you can read along with my summary of this Helpguide article (link at the end of the post) keeping in mind that when you read the “I knows” and the “I wills” you can be thinking in terms of yourself – not me. Because I really do think that this is helpful information for everyone, and the fact that it is written with an air of certainty is meant to engage the sufferer more than simply skimming a wordy article that is an objective opinion about a condition or series of conditions that belong to you can be. 
I know it is a bit long. But if you find these statements strike a chord, I want you to make an extra effort to read them carefully, to thoroughly absorb them, and to consider your level of commitment to positive change.

I can cope with the changes in my mood.

I know that depression follows a cyclical pattern, and every “down”, even if prolonged, will be followed by an “up”, even in a short burst, or at least a “level”.

I will take personal responsibility for my moods.

I will ask for help from others when I need it.

I will keep appointments made with health care practitioners.

I will practice self-advocacy.

I will continue to educate myself about anxiety, neurotic compulsive perfectionism, manic depression and ADD so that I can make informed decisions about my life, action plans, and treatment.

I will let others support me.

I will be patient.

I will manage my diet and physical activity routines to maintain a healthier state of mind.

I am confident that I can identify the triggers or outside influences that have led to mania or depression in the past. I can already identify some of them:
                – Socializing with my best friends (I am afraid they want something from me, I am afraid we are not being honest with each other about how we are feeling, I am acknowledging their problems and feeling powerless to help)
                – Stress (general – like waking up an thinking about the things I want to do in a day)
                – Not being able to buy something on a whim (budgeting)
                – Conflict or altercations (drama)
                – Tiredness
                – Being made to question my opinions on something that is important to me from an ethical/moral perspective
                – Seasonal changes

I know that I cannot and do not want to avoid these situations, so I need to develop strategies to regain stability when the stress sets in immediately after these occurrences.

I know the common signs for Depression and Mania/hypomania relapses and how they apply to me.
Warning signs of depression include:
                – I quit cooking meals
                – I don’t want to be around anyone
                – I am craving chocolate
                – I am getting headaches or migranes
                – I don’t care about other people’s feelings
                – The things that people are saying/doing around me are making me feel angry
                – I am sleeping a lot or taking naps during the day
Warning signs of hypomania include:
                – Research binges
                – I can’t concentrate on just one thing
                – When I speak I am speaking quickly or stumbling over words, even stuttering
                – Irritability
                – I am hungry all of the time
                – People are telling me I am crabby or asking me what is wrong
                – I feel restless (need to move around or pace)
I know that this knowledge will not help me unless I keep close tabs on how I am feeling. It is important to catch the “red flags” so that they don’t get lost and go unchecked amidst the business of everyday life.

I know that my options include keeping a mood chart (which is a daily log of my emotional state and other ‘symptoms’ I might be experiencing – try and generalize your feelings, even if that sounds boring or clinical. The management of this really is a clinical thing. Elaborate thoughts I tend to ‘plunge’ headlong into like humanity’s false senses of meaning and morality could be summarized as ‘people bother me’ which is a symptom of depression –) wait, what? That sounds like a ‘chicken or the egg’ scenario. People, morality, questions about life ‘bother me’ whether I am happy as pie or not. Let’s sit on that one.

Since I like writing, I know that ‘mood logs’ can be part of a journal, as long as the description of my emotional state and other ‘symptoms’ are a habitual inclusion. It is also good to include how many hours of sleep I am getting, my weight, any medications I am taking or unusual food I am eating, plus any alcohol or drug use. Keeping this kind of log will help me spot patterns and indicators of trouble ahead.

I know that being able to act swiftly to combat negative emotions or re-stabilize when I am feeling “off” is a key element of coping, and that I can do this by having a “wellness toolbox” to draw from. Some things that might help me and are worth trying to establish my personal preferences include:
                -Talking to a supportive person like (think carefully about all of the people who deeply and truly want you to succeed. After a couple moments of thought I surprised myself by coming up with eleven, which was a cozy feeling in and of itself)
               – Getting a full eight hours of sleep

                – Cutting back on activities for a day to regain solid ground
                – Attending a support group (like the one that was offered to me at the RVH)
                – Calling my doctor or therapist (Reconnecting with the RVH psychiatrist and Nicole/Sonja at CFS to move on to a psychologist, and/or contacting the family doctor)
                – Do something fun or creative to regain momentum
                – Make time to relax and unwind
                – Write in my journal
                – Exercise
                – Ask for extra help from loved ones (priorities responsibilities, which are my CHOICE, and delegate work to/assistance from those who won’t mind a short-term commitment)
                – Cut back on sugar, alcohol, and caffeine (and establish healthy eating habits in general)
                – Increase exposure to light (stay in the Sun for awhile every day. It does more than just deliver Vitamin D)
                – Increase or decrease environmental stimulants, depending on whether I am experience depression or hyperactivity beyond my present control

I understand that despite my very best efforts, I still might relapse into full-blown mania and/or severe depression and I cannot guilt-trip myself for this. Evaluating whether or not these symptoms are threatening to my life/the lives of others can help my logical side to decide whether or not someone else needs to take over my care for some time.
I know that if I establish an emergency plan ahead of time, the preparation will somewhat alleviate the general feelings of hopelessness and helplessness that result, by allowing myself to maintain some degree of responsibility for my own “treatment”.

I know that a typical emergency plan of action includes a list of contacts (doctor, therapist, close family members), a list of any and all medication currently being taken on hand, as well as information about any other health problems I have been experiencing. Also, record symptoms that indicate others need to take responsibility for my care.

Knowing my treatment preferences (what I want, what I don’t want, who is authorized to make these decisions on my behalf in case that is necessary) will also help me to feel in control.

I know that having a strong support system is vital to staying happy and healthy. Likewise, it is necessary to limit contact with people who drain my emotional energy by making me feel discouraged, ashamed, or guilty.

I also understand that because of general anxiety and just because of my nature as well, often times it is the people who truly value me who subsequently make me feel ashamed and emotionally exhausted to be around. I think it is important, because this case is unique to me, to take time in my journals to entertain questions about why the people I love the most are making me feel this way today, so’s to decide how to either confront or cope with the problems.

I acknowledge that I need to stop being ashamed about being afraid, but instead to evaluate the fears and take small steps at a time to confront or cope with them.

Even though socializing with the people who are important to me can be emotionally taxing, I know that isolation and loneliness causes my depression to worsen.

I know that I have the option of joining a support group for all kinds of people who have similar emotional experiences; people with bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety, clinical depression, extreme perfectionism, and ADD/ADHD, and sometimes schizophrenia and/or schizo-typo personalities have all expressed very similar thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

I know that taking steps to build new support networks through work, classes or civic groups can also help to alleviate boredom and loneliness.

I know that I already take a lot of the “right” steps to help alleviate depression, like talking to people about my feelings, volunteering, having lunch with friends, making sure there is at least one person in my life who checks in with me regularly, texting old friends, going for walks, doing extracurricular activities, making sure my living situation involves people being at a somewhat-close proximity at all times, and seeking counselling when necessary.

I know that developing a daily routine (but also planning for variations and excitement in my case, because I thrive off of change) will have a significant impact on my mood and help me to keep my symptoms under control (I also know that my symptoms have always been the cause of breaches in my routine, which is why planning to cope with anxiety and mania before it strikes is essential).

I know that the most important elements of a daily structure include sleep, nutrition, time for socializing, time for exercising, time for working, and time for relaxing. Not necessarily in that order, but once a regular pattern of activity is established it will help me through my ups and downs.

I know that aerobic exercise is proven as one of the most effective ways of coping with depression, and that Yoga/stretching is very effecting on anxiety. The consensus seems to be 30 – 45 minutes of activity, five times a week at minimum. Even walking is very good if I am too tired to do anything else.

I know that not adhering to a strict sleep schedule can trigger mania – in fact, all of my worst manic episodes have happened either in the morning when I have not slept enough or have over-slept, immediately after coming home from work or school when I am over-tired (the kind of exhaustion that can be caused by a lack of sleep and too much sleep), or very late at night.

I have a good arsenal of tips to let me adhere to a sleep schedule that will help me to stay in control of my mood, which includes going to bed and waking up at the same time each day, avoiding or minimizing napping (I will know how much is appropriate for me based on how it interferes with sleep at night), avoiding exercise or other stimulating activities very late in the day, avoiding caffeine after lunch (I have read no less than five hours before bed), and avoiding alcohol at night.

I know that keeping my stress under control is extremely important, because stress is a main factor contributing to anxiety, depression and mania. Because I also experience extreme perfectionism, I am always under stress, even when it appears to others that there is no reason for me to be feeling that way. I need to recognize when I am feeling overwhelmed and take time out for myself when that happens, instead of adding to the pile. Some ways that I already know help me to calm down and that I should utilize generously are deep breathing, meditation, yoga, browsing artworks, swimming, being outside, and doing creative things, especially the ones that expel energy like drawing and singing.

I know that it is O.K to need to do these things every day for 30 minutes or more if it means keeping depression at bay. Play is not an indulgence; it is an emotional and mental necessity and I must not feel guilty about putting certain things aside to make time for leisure.

I will stay calm and energized by appealing to all of my senses. I will look at art and natural beauties that appeal to my sight. I will listen to music that lifts my mood to appeal to my hearing. I will care for plants and certain fungi because these are things I like to touch. I will make sure to acknowledge good smells like my cooking and the outdoors. Massaging the hands and feet, and sipping warm drinks are other good ideas that appeal to the touch senses and make us feel relaxed.

I always tell people that the substances we put into our bodies have a profound effect on all of it’s systems, the way we feel, and our overall health. I will act upon what I preach by reminding myself that I am important as well, and that even if there are some things I cannot control, I am responsible for my own choices.

I will eat plenty of fresh fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. I will limit my fat and sugar intake. I will space my meals out through the day so that my blood sugar does not dip too low. I will avoid a diet that is high in carbohydrates because they make me prone to mood crashes. I also know that chocolate, caffeine, and processed foods need to be moderated because they are actually the difference between whether I have energy or whether I sit in a chair and cry all day.

I have already taken steps to make my diet better by beginning my book-free meal preparations in the fruit and vegetable drawer, and working around those. The one cookbook that I do own is all about vegan food, and this is to further ensure that my meals are build around a fruit, nut and vegetable base (even though I still choose to incorporate some meats and milk). I have alarms set on my phone to help me ease into the habit of eating at certain times during the day. I know that the best plan to maintain blood sugar is to eat four or five small meals a day as opposed to two or three big ones. I know that for me, twelve small gulps of water accounts for about one cup, so when I do that before my first meal, in between all five, and after the last, I do not become dehydrated.  I make sure to keep stocked on certain vitamins that I have noticed make me feel more energized, particularly iron, copper, omegas, zinc and B-50 complex, and I choose one of these every other day or so, taken with my second meal of the day so that I can metabolize them safely and effectively. I know that eating right before bed makes me feel sick and upset in the morning, which can throw me off of a routine for the whole day and sometimes longer. I know that the chemistry of the bowel is closely interactive with the brain, so keeping everything “clean” and balanced is essential. I have read that the best way to do this is to stop eating 2 – 3 hours before sleep, so that the body gets a good cleanse during the night time.

I have learnt that attempts to self-medicate with tranquilizers and/or amphetamines are not effective to my particular symptoms and sometimes cause long-term damage.

Lastly and most importantly, I know that I need to understand myself – the positives, and the negatives – to allow myself to feel good about the positives, and to be patient but consistent in correcting the negatives. I will make my wellness my main priority. I will set long-term goals and I will allow the little, silly things that happen along the way to make me feel happy. I will not be afraid of asking questions and I will not be afraid of failing sometimes. When I do feel afraid, I will hash out the reasons for my fears and I will remind myself that it is O.K to tell the truth. I will keep close to the things that make me feel good about living, so that while I pursue solutions to conflicts and meaning for doing so, I will not be overwhelmed by hopelessness and uncertainty.


View the original article here:
Visit the photographer who took the photo in this post:


Incomplete study


We’ve known for some time that the bowel and the brain are closely interactive. But is it fully understood, to what extent? When we go about our day-to-day lives, we tend to eat and drink as sustenance becomes available, and we fuel ourselves depending on whatever is going to “feel good” at the time. In this way, we are subject to cravings for certain “foods” that our mouths think are great, but that our stomach and bowels are soon to disagree with. The interesting thing about this is that what we brush of as being a “simple stomach ache” or “a few cramps” could actually be small, physiological alarms that are trying to tell us we are also hurting our brains by our carelessness in what we consume.

Modern studies on how the body and the mind interact are turning up more and more instances in which treating problems of the mind can result in relief from disquieting, physical symptoms, and also vice versa; that treating the body badly has long-term, detrimental effects on the ways that we think and feel.

Knowing this, it is not so surprising that the age of increasingly prevalent neurological disorders and processed, chemically bathed foods apparently coalesce. I meet so many different peoples who come from various backgrounds and at widely spaced ages who suffer from gastritis, anxiety, mood disorders like bi-polarity and depression, stomach ulcers, tinnitus (ringing in the ears), stress, asthma, migraines… the list goes on. It seems like everyone is afflicted by some mysterious enemy whose origins simply cannot be traced, but whose effects on each individual’s quality of life is anything but benign.

These are real problems, and they have to have a real source. Chalking it up to modern economics is simply not enough.

Scientific American Mind magazine did a column in this summer’s issue about physical complaints that were found to co-occur with certain psychological conditions. Among their reports were the following:

  • Gastritis and Anxiety. It turns out that people with frequent stomach and intestinal discomfort, including really, really common things like heartburn or IBS (for which you can find temporary relief on the shelves on any drug store or supermarket) are nearly twice as likely as the general population to suffer from anxiety or mood disorders. The unexpected point of this research is that even those with no known mental issues experience improved gut health after weeks of psychotherapy. The general improvement to these patients’ mental health, conflict management skills, relationships etc., paralleled improvements in all of their gastrointestinal symptoms for at least an entire year. Sounds to me like a much better method of ‘healing at the source’ than an Alka-Seltzer diet can deliver.
  • Ulcers and Depression. Preliminary data on the relation between ulcers, depression and anxiety  suggests that patients treated for depression were much less likely to develop an ulcer (for those young’uns like myself who aren’t sure what an ulcer is, it is an open sore inside in the lining of the stomach or first part of the small intestine, which seems to be caused either by a certain bacteria, the use of pain killers, or a specific type of tumor, and they have been for a long time linked to stress) 10 years after the fact, compared to those who never received therapy.
  • Tinnitus and Stress.  Ringing in the ears, which effects around 50 million Americans, can be a seriously upsetting pain in the ass – I even had it badly growing up, and it comes back to haunt me now and again. Not surprisingly, research this year confirms that nearly half of all tinnitus sufferers also have a mental disorder. And a small study in January found that reducing stress with mindful meditation greatly alleviated tinnitus sufferers’ symptoms – a finding I can really jive with, since after a couple unpleasant hearing tests I finally learned to “make the ringing stop”, by breaking through the pre-conceived notion that visceral functions cannot be brought under voluntary control, and learning to quickly quiet my own heart rate. To me, this is evidence that blood pressure can be related to tinnitus, too, as it is to stress – and we are all well aware of how junky foods affect blood pressure.

The magazine touched on other related subjects, too, in separate articles. Such as how certain pesticides that still linger in the environment despite being officially banned in 2001, can cause Parkinson’s disease. Or how some Buddhist monks, whose diets are primarily plant-based, experience an unusual increase in synchronized high-frequency electrical activity of the brain during periods of rest and meditation.

One of the most shocking reports, I think, brings to question whether or not it is possible to recover from Autism by way of (and of course alongside special education and therapy) an adjusted diet. Even though the article stressed that whatever sparked cases of recovery remains a mystery, it did highlight an interesting point, which is that there was no correlation between patients who had the best outcome and those who received more or better behavioural treatment than others. Which means that recovery must be based on some other environmental, or genetic, factor. This provoked me to do a little more poking around on the inter-web and, unreliable as are it’s archives, what I found is potentially astonishing (it may seem as if I’m spinning off on tangents, here, but I promise it all relates. Just bear with me).

-talk about the digestive history of autistic kids, and re-stress the therapy-digestion link

-find cases of a changed diet reversing the detrimental neurological effects of autism – which are what, exactly?

-then pose this hypothesis:

-I remember watching a film in high school about a little boy wi


th a severe neurological disorder, the details of which I regretfully forget, but that the disorder presented itself very similarly to autism. The family specialist had prescribed, as part of a long list of homeopathic remedies/management techniques, a diet that strictly forbade certain sugars but that should also be high in certain fatty acids. … note about autistic kid who might have been cured by diet. Just think: if suspending certain foods because of their chemical make-up, and incorporating a superfluous amount of others for the same reasons, can benefit a handicapped person enough to allow them to function as ‘regular’ people in society, could it then be so far-fetched to assume that the causation of the disorder could come from chemical stimulus in our environment, as well? What exactly is it, and in what quantities, that we are putting into our bodies is making our DNA and our brains have such severe hiccoughs as to result in a population absolutely crowded by occasional, to full-time, invalids?


-I think that what we need to accept is that despite the FDA’s valiant efforts to ensure the safe production of mass-market consumables, there is much left to be desired in the actual quality of our food – and much, still, to be learnt about the harmful effects of chemical additives like preservatives, artificial flavour and dyes.

-this matters to me mostly because i’ve come through life thus far with an unidentified learning disability that has memorably plagued me from the day I learnt to tie my shoes. I have found, thus far, that the only consistent remedy to changing the way I feel, my motivations, and my ability to focus on things is to put a whole lot of care into what I do and do not choose to fuel my body. (no where near perfect, yet)… bad pun, but it’s food for thought.


Rodriguez, T. (2013, July) When Talk Therapy Treats Tinnitus. Scientific American Mind, 12 
Medical Reference (2005 - 2013) What is Peptic Ulcer Disease? WebMD. Retrieved July 6, 2013, from
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